E27: 2024 Reflection

Listen to the episode here: E27: 2024 Reflection - https://bit.ly/41KTKmp

Hey there, friend. It is Dr. Tiffany. I want to welcome you to episode 27 of the Integrative Mental Health Therapy with Dr. Tiffany podcast. And today we are focusing on reflection. And it's a special time of year, everything is starting to close out. It's been a really hectic time of year for so many of us. And I have definitely noticed this year compared to last year this time, a bit more activation, a bit more sympathetic dominance in the nervous systems of the people I work with, that just the flow of this year has felt quite different. And so I think it's a really important time to just take a moment, slow things down, get some quiet time and reflect.

And many of you know that I like to, if you work with me personally, have like a time in the morning, time in the evening, just to do like defrag. I don't know if computers still do defrag, but back in the day, computers used to defrag, right? So I think you'd empty out your trash can on your desktop and then you do some sort of defrag kind of thing and it would be this way for the computer in my mind to kind of reintegrate itself. And our world is just so fast paced between the phones and the emails and the text messages and the demands and the lack of boundaries and you know just all of that instant news updates. 

It's hard for our brains to be able to handle all of this without feeling pulled in many different directions. And we're talking about on a daily basis, but then a weekly basis, and then a monthly basis, and then an annual basis. 

It's important to slow down. Get some quiet time and reflect. And so I talk about bookends many days in practice of having like a morning routine. And my morning routine, personally, I tend to get up early, early, and then like a slow start and have lots of reflection time and journaling time, devotional time, meditation time, and a sermon if I can squeeze it in there before I get into like a workout and all of those things. You know, those of you who are on the same kind of plan, we're doing the vibe plate, we're doing the sauna. Like there's a big get ready for the day routine that's part of my morning bookend. At nighttime is not so aggressive. Nighttime is gonna be some more journaling. I have a journal that allows for morning and evening journaling and reflection. And then you know, there's some meditative time, just a few minutes, just of quiet can allow for the brains in the nervous system to kind of reintegrate. And then I do suggest that weekly people take a little bit more time to reflect on just different areas of their life, work, physical, financial, spiritual.

Relationship-wise, health-wise, just pick different categories, reflect on it for the week. Where have you been? What went well? What would you like to improve on? Where are you going for the next week? And then you check in for the month. And I know this is a lot, but it's worth it. Because when it comes time to do your annual reflection, you have been checked in with yourself.

So I offer you, if you haven't been doing this, it is okay, please don't beat up on yourself. No inner critics beating up on you. But just kind of consider this as something to help you stay anchored. As you set your vision for your future self, as we discussed previously, maybe this is a way to stay tethered to yourself, okay? So this episode is about reflection.

Reflecting on 2024 as you set your vision for 2025. As you now have more open time in your schedule. So many of you have talked to me this year. I've been really intrigued by this. And maybe because of reflection from last year about like how to best set yourself up for success with this couple of weeks that you might have off. How to set your 2025 up, like just mindset, schedule management, you know, do you just rest? And so many of you have said, I don't just wanna be a slug, you know, I don't wanna just lay around for two weeks and then feel like I didn't invest in me. I didn't nourish my body, mind, spirit. I didn't level up myself in some way. I have this space now to lean into loving on me.

But you know, I'm so in get through the day, get through the week mode normally, I don't even know what to do with myself. I can't tell you how many times I've heard that. I don't think there's anything kind of crazy about that. It's just to answer the question, well, what do you do with yourself, right? And so quiet time, get some quiet time. Even start to work on some of what I just talked about with the bookends, the time in the morning, yours does not have to look as extensive as mine, just some time in the morning. I have a very unusual job where my job is to hold and process other people's stuff throughout the day. So I need to be in a good space to be able to do that. So then I need to spend a lot of effort and time just getting myself ready for the day.

Not everybody needs to put that much time and energy into their mind and body and all of that. But sometime in the morning and also sometime in the evening could be something you could start to lean into. Okay? So now, reflection. How do you go about looking back over 2024 without judgment, without your criticizing I didn't do everything kind of apart coming forward. How do you lovingly look back over 2024 and take those notes and learn and expand and be curious? Remember those of you who I've talked to about IFS, self is going to be genuinely, gently curious. Self is going to be calm. Self is going to have a sense of confidence, clarity. So if you look back over 2024, and you find yourself in any sort of punitive, assessing, pain inducing part, you're not in self. And I ask of you that you approach this exercise in self, with love and kindness.

I don't know, almost like a, an impartial observer. Okay, that's the posture. All right. So here's what I want you to consider. And I like these questions. I got them from someone who's really smart. So I wanna share them with you. So these are some of your prompts. How is your life different now from the beginning of 2024? I want you to be as specific as possible be as specific as possible. How is it different now? and think back, try to go back through, if you have journals and you wanna look at those, try to think about the different months, think about the different quarters, how is your life different?

How are you different so far as your maturity goes? and you can look at your decisions, your situations than you were in 2023.

Okay, so look at 2023 and I've done that a lot this year. I've looked throughout the year. I can't help but do it. I don't know what that is about for myself. I might need to ask my own therapist, but I tend to like, okay, it is December, 2024. Remember what December, 2023 was like. Remember, you know, what was going on. Remember the relationships. Remember like, who I was seeing in my practice, remember what my husband was navigating with his job. And he's been doing all these different trainings and certifications this year that I've supported him through, that have been massive for him and us, for him to do this. And I've been insanely proud of him. And when I tell you I felt those certifications and not passing and then passing them, there's a demarcation for the months where he was engaged in those. And I can really hear, see, feel those months. We traveled to see a lot of family. We had a trip to the Bahamas this year with family. And I can remember what it felt like to be on, like at the edge of the ocean, right? Staring out or to be in the middle of the ocean, looking down and then where I was last year at the same time.

Right? And so sometimes what you have to do is kind of anchor yourself and then reflect back. I know a lot of people come to me and they have a hard time kind of remembering. So I'm offering some of this just to show how I am able to kind of activate my own memory. Okay, continuing here. What games are you playing in your life? in your business, in your work experience? Is your game linear and very similar to what you've been doing in the past or is it based on a new future? Okay, and that's a funny question. Some of you may not even be in the game, so to speak, but I talk to a lot of you. And so what kind of game are you playing, whether it's in your career? your business? your life like what is what is the game that you're playing and is it a linear game? Is it a very similar one to what you've done in the past or is it based on a new future and that is right now? Okay, and some of you are going to say i'm unfortunately playing a very similar game And I don't want you to judge that I want you to just be curious about how you got to a very similar game

And there's some things that I'm doing that I feel are very similar, that I would like to be doing differently that I have to work with, right? And then there's some things that are completely radically different that I'm happy about. And I'm navigating and making sense of that. So I think this is very normal, whatever your answer is, okay, but just be curious. So here's what I'm gonna offer you to kind of assist you. If you are aware of the game that you're playing in life, career, business, why are you playing that game?

Why?

Who would you like to see more involved, less involved in the game of life, in the game of your career? Who?

What problem, what opportunity in your life, in your career, in your family, in the world do you feel is most important?

Where specifically do you want to see yourself and your life by the end of 2025?

This is just going to get the juices flowing, get you thinking, get you seeing things a little bit differently. If there's a question that doesn't feel as if it resonates or doesn't land for you as well, don't worry about it. Don't answer that one. I'm doing an exercise right now with a mentor of mine. I have been training for the last six months in a protocol for adult children of emotionally immature parents and really looking at parentified daughters specifically and just the impact of emotionally immature parents, but also emotionally immature people on the clients that I work with. And she has us going through this whole exercise of reflecting on who we are, how we show up Then this is the mentor. What our goals are for our clients and our practice. What are assumptions that we make? All these different things. And some things don't fit as well for me. So I offer you as someone who goes through these exercises myself, if it doesn't land or it doesn't feel like it takes you in a healthy place, just leave it. Come back to it later. I hope it has been a beautiful year for you. But even if there were bumpy, ugly moments, try to be curious about those because I do believe that growth comes from that discomfort, that stretch. And if you can just observe it from self and not be wounded and injured by it or personalize it, there's a lot to learn from it.

But either way, I, I wish you the best in your reflection. You, you know, you always have the categories of brain, body, mind to kind of look at this from as well. So I'm going to offer that as a way to kind of explore and set your vision. And then, um, please be on the lookout for the next podcast that, um, will be available to you just as you kind of navigate this time over the holidays with all the family. And it is on that parentified daughter and navigating just the experiences that can come up in general, but especially during the holidays. It has been amazing sharing just your attention. Thank you for your trust and what I have shared with you over this year. And until next time, be well.