Podcast: E3:24 - Your New Normal

Listen to the episode here: E3:24 - Your New Normal - https://bit.ly/4bGxNqx

Hey friends, I hope this podcast episode finds you well. I want to welcome you to Integrative Mental Health Therapy with Dr. Tiffany. This is episode 24, and I am Dr. Tiffany. The title of this episode was one that I struggled with a bit. I often struggle to title these, but it really came from this idea of kind of returning to who you were before it all happened. I think you have to embrace this idea of a new normal. So the title is New Normal.

So often my clients and patients in my practice want to be who they were before their trauma, chronic illness, infections, or before their life changed. They're trying to get back to that person. And to be quite honest, a lot of times it's an idealized version of themselves. As someone who was a hardcore recreational athlete, I can completely relate to trying to get back to that body and fitness I once had. I empathize with this struggle. I believe God put me in this work and took me through personal challenges so that I could have true compassion for the people I serve and genuinely connect with them.

I understand the desire to return to that place, but it's a new normal now. There's a reason for that. From a psychological, neurological, and physiological perspective, we're trying to work through those aspects and figure out why this is our new normal, what it looks like, and what we can create from that place. You have a testimony if you're willing to embrace it. Someone needs you to share your trials, tribulations, and testimony with them.

This life is hard. We go through losses, suffer, and face pain. But it is also beautiful and amazing, with blessings and beauty all around us. It's not easy, but you are meant to serve and support others with your words, spirit, heart, and energy. You are meant to overcome and show yourself that you are stronger than you realized. God is inside you. You are resilient and an overcomer. This shapes and grows your brain.

You may not ever get back to who you thought you were, especially those in their 40s and 50s trying to get back to their 20s, or even 20-year-olds trying to return to who they were at 12 or 13. It's about how you move forward. What does that look like? How do you put it back together? In my previous episodes, I've talked about healing the body, working with the nervous system, and those things. But there are other domains in life that are just as important as tinctures, supplements, diet, and exercise.

What about play? As adults, we stop playing. Even some 20-year-olds stop playing. It's all work and no play. I love playing ping pong, tennis, and board games. I own many board games and play with my nieces. Though I don't have children, my sister had children for me. They activate play in my life. I play ping pong and tennis with my husband, and it's fun and light. Play needs to be a part of your healing journey, alongside all the treatments and therapies. 

Maybe you can't play tennis or pickleball, but you can play air hockey or something low-impact. Rolling around the floor with the dog counts too. Play is crucial. Research by Dan Siegel and others in the neurobiological and neuroimmune space shows that play is important. Adults struggle because they don't prioritize play. 

You also need relationships. You need to be around people you feel safe with. As a safe person for my practice, I find love and compassion for everyone I sit with. Your nervous system needs to feel safe, your right brain needs to feel safe, and you need to feel connected and co-regulated with someone. You need to look them in the eyes, watch their mouth move, listen to their voice, and feel safe. Dr. Porges, whom I studied under, emphasizes the importance of feeling safe.

Social media doesn't count. You need to be in the room with someone, or on Zoom, deeply hearing their voice and looking into their eyes. This is part of your new normal and necessary for getting your brain healthy again. As someone who has struggled with chronic illness, childhood trauma, and nervous system rebalancing, it is normal to not feel safe. If you don't work on safety and play as your body heals, your new normal will be a problem. 

You are not going backwards; you are moving forward. How and what, not why. How do you move forward? That's where healing is. Healing is in the present moment, which becomes the future and the past. So how do you put one foot in front of the other and find your healing? It's a new normal, and there can be beauty in this new normal. I have found so much beauty in stepping into my new normal and walking away from what I thought was amazing.

I'd love to be on that path with you if that's what needs to happen. I just wanted to give you this good word that it's the new normal you're working on. Share this with someone. Tell them my story. Go through the old podcasts I've recorded and share those with them, please. You never know who needs some healing.

Until next time, I'm Dr. Tiffany. Be well.