Podcast: E9 - Why is healing hard? (IFS)

Listen to the episode here: E9- Why is healing hard? (IFS) - https://apple.co/40MDsqr

Hey there, friend! I want to welcome you to episode number nine of the public podcast, Integrative Mental Health Therapy with Dr. Tiffany. This is going to stream on both the private podcast as well as the public, so the numbering is always a little different. So my private streamers, just bear with me. And the topic actually is coming from just being in the trenches with clients per usual kind of listening to what y'all need to hear.

And the title is inspired by that experience, why is healing so hard? Why is healing so hard? And I don't think it's hard from the standpoint of whether it's getting your brain to be more harnessed and like that experience of maybe taking the supplements and getting the exercise in and changing the diet and getting the sleep. I think that comes with its own difficulties, right?

Or the healing being reducing the inflammation by way of doing sauna and cryotherapy and sitting on your pimp mat or laying on your pimp mat or your grounding mat. you know, tapping to reduce inflammation because the stressful thoughts are just releasing cortisol all the time.

I don't think it's just the mechanics of that, which, yes, is difficult in its own way. I think healing is hard because when you ask your internal system to harness all of the energy and effort and focus to do the types of things I just described. Remember when the supplements are supposed to be taken when you're supposed to get in the sauna how to change your diet Telling people I'm sorry. No, I can't do that because I've got the self-care commitment or eating differently than everybody else You're not drinking when everyone else is drinking when you ask your internal system to make these kinds of shifts There are parts of you that have been doing this old stuff being in dysfunction, right?

Being in these old rhythms for a while. And they don't know what change feels like. And they are going to run into walls, those parts of you that are like, well, if I'm gonna put in this kind of effort, I should get this kind of result, right? Like it should happen quickly because they don't know those parts of you how long it should take to reach success. Or I've been doing it this long, so it should look like this.

Or how long is this gonna take? Or why is this so hard? It shouldn't be so hard. It feels so awful. It feels so, so frustrating. This is so aggravating and disappointing and restrictive. And I just don't wanna. And I think the problem with healing is then the reason that it can be so hard is we don't go into it communicating with our whole system, with all of our parts, and trying to explain and update from ourself, from our highest part of ourself, hey, this is what this healing journey is gonna look like.

Sometimes it's successful, sometimes it's not. It's three steps forward and eight steps backwards. And it's, you know, it's like these really high highs and then these really low lows. And it's gonna feel like it's wrong because you're not used to doing it this way. And then I've got you, we've got a great team and we've got people who've done this and they know what success looks like and we're gonna be okay.

We don't have the pep talk with the internal system. And sometimes we just let these old rhythms and these young parts. drive the bus. And those of you who work with me individually, who know what I'm talking about with this bus driver, you know that I'm talking about your internal system and who is supposed to be driving the bus and it's not a part of you. It's not the young part that has inappropriate expectations of healing.

It's not the I want it quickly and I want it to be easy part. It's that it's supposed to be your highest self that can hear your whole system almost like a choir and let everyone harmonize. And so the reason healing is so hard is because we don't help our parts in advance to prepare. And then we don't update them when we have success. So let me tell you what success can look like from a self perspective, when you have parts that are demanding this better work or it should have worked or it shouldn't be this hard.

It's like, guess what? We're maintaining a rhythm. We've never maintained a rhythm. We've never been consistent. We've never, never been, you know, someone who could do X, Y, Z, four to five days a week. We've always forgotten our supplements. We've never considered ourselves healthy. We've always let sleep be out of control. And look at us go. This is what success looks like because when you put in a consistent rhythm of health building choices and behaviors, your health improves.

And if that looks like not getting worse, that is success. Because I promise you, it could be worse. It can get worse. It can feel worse physically. So when you're being consistent and you are improving your condition, that is success. Is that the finish line? Absolutely not.

 Cause this is definitely a marathon. But that is success. And we need to prepare our systems, our parts in advance. And then we need to update them as time goes from that self perspective and then they can handle it and healing doesn't have to be so hard.

I hope this spoke to someone. I hope it cut through and I hope it gave you something to help with your own system. Okay until next time, be well.